i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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