we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize