Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
