Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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