Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize