I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
