he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
