I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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