he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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