omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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