Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize