he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize