i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
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