i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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