Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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