this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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