My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
