This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
