went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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