Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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