How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
