I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
