dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
