Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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