I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
