dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
