just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We need to get me chipped asap
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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