Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?