i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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