my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
there is glitter all over my balls
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
