It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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