nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize