Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He passed out mid-signature
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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