Your face is a jimmy john
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
