Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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