I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
