I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
