Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
