i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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