Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Is Oprah even human
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
