Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
