Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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