you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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