i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
