Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
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Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My ass is underappreciated
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
false alarm, still single
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