the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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