I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
