he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
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What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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