All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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