i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
