So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
