just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
