Little spoons don't ask big questions
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
