someone get that fucking seahorse.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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