Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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