Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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