he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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