We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
